The next few days were very difficult for Derek. The thoughts of what he had done that animal haunted his every waking moment. The thought that he was capable now of doing that to a human being scared him even more. Claude tried to talk to him but Derek was not up for any sort of talk. Every day they worked in the bowels of the castle digging out more and more area. They had now dug out what looked like a large room with three small rooms coming off the sides. Claude finally stopped the digging,
- “Well, I believe this is enough” he said.
Derek threw down his shovel and went upstairs to get some fresh air. He went to his parent’s gravesite, which Claude has covered in rocks instead of grass so that the effects of Derek’s presence there would not be so obvious. Derek sat at his father’s grave for most of the night, thinking about what to do next. What would his father do? If this had happened to him, instead of Derek, how would his father react? Derek had no idea – it was impossible. What had happened to him was unimagineable. There were so many questions in his mind about what his new life would be like, questions he was afraid to ask because he wasn’t sure he really wanted to know the answer. Like would he ever be able to see a sunrise again? Or would he be able to marry – and have a family? Would humans ever be safe around him? And most of all, what was vampire soceity like? He was almost afraid – he imagined these beastial creatures sitting around a fire with blood dripping down their mouths hissing at one another. He did not wish to have this fate. He thought about Claude – and he wondered how long had he been a vampire? Would Derek eventually lose enough of himself so that like Claude, he wouldn’t be horrified at the thought of killing another creature and drinking its blood?
The questions floated in his head and he had, over the last few days, come close to actually asking Claude to answer a few of them – but he had stopped himself. He knew he wasn’t ready to learn the truth – at least not yet.
- “It gets easier, you know…” he heard Claude’s voice behind him
- “Is that suppsoed to comfort me? That it gets easier to kill?” Derek asked.
- “Well, you killed before did you not? You ate meat – you hunted – you just did it differently than now. This is the same thing, but you are now just consuming a different part of the animal.” Claude explained
- “The difference is,” Derek said, “that before I was in complete control of myself – I have never felt drawn to kill an animal like this – and I certainly had never felt drawn to kill another human!” He said
-” Well,” Claude replied, “You can control this. You felt drawn Derek because you were hungry.” he said, “If you anticipate your cravings and keep yourself satisfied, you will not feel this pull.” he continued, “You need to learn to anticipate your cravings, and drink before you are near a state of Frenzy.”
Derek looked up at him with a hopeful look, “and what about humans?” he asked.
Claude walked up to where Derek was sitting and calmly sat down next to him.
- “With humans its different” he said, “You do not have to drink human blood, but if you decide to live in the city, it is fairly convenient.” he continued “there are ways to drink human blood – just a little bit at a time – and not kill the human. As a matter of fact,” he said with a smile, “the power that flows in your blood, will help you to do it without the human even knowing that you are doing it.”
Derek looked confused, “That makes no sense – how can someone not know that there is another person sucking the blood right out of them?” he asked.
Claude grinned at Derek, “You need to learn that just because things do not make sense, it does not mean that they cannot be so” he said.
Derek nodded, and looked down at his father’s grave again. Deep in his heart he began to accept his new fate – he began to accept, that maybe there was a chance that he would never be able to walk in his father’s footsteps. He decided right then and there, that if his destiny was to indeed become this monster, then he would be the most human monster he could be.
-”Come” Claude said as he got up and started towards the house, “lets work some mind tricks next” he said.
Derek got up and went after him towards the castle. With each step he felt more confident, if there was a way to turn this around, to make sure that he was in charge of his own fate, not this monster inside him, he would find it. Of that, he was sure.
————————————————————————————
For the next few days they worked on “mind tricks” as Claude called them. This basically entailed Claude trying to enter Derek’s mind with his and Derek having to block it. He found he had a knack for it . Most of this training had taken place in the library, with Derek and Claude sitting accross from each other and the fire roaring in the background.
- “What you have is a gift that very few of us have, Derek” Claude said – “the way that our bloodlines work, sometimes the powers that your sire has will be passed down to you – sometimes they will not.”
- “Sire?” Derek asked
- “The sire is the person that makes you a vampire. I am your sire in this case.” Claude replied, “Which means some of powers in my blood may have been passed down to you just as some of the powers in my Sire’s blood were passed down to me.” Claude said, “Sometimes, it can skip a generation – for I have gifts that my Sire’s sire had but that my Sire did not have, and my Sire had gifts that were never passed to me”
- “Well, how do I know what gifts you passed on to me then?” Derek was curious
-” You will not know until you use them – we can try to see if you can tap into them in training, but you may not know. And some gifts may not present themselves until your blood has had a chance to age some more.”
- “I see – so this gift – of protecting my thoughts – you have it too?” Derek asked
- “Yes, I do” Claude replied, “My sire did not have it however, but his sire did – I was not sure you would have it – but it is a powerful gift and it is the first gift you must learn to master”, Claude continued, “you see, Derek, Vampire soceity is made up of vicious politicians who will not think twice before barging into your mind and taking as much as they can. There are no limits in Vampire soceity – what you can take is yours. If you can protect yourself, you survive – if you cannot – eventually you die. The strong survive while the weak get used and discarded.” Claude explained
- “How can they live like that? They sound like they are no better than animals” Derek said in shock, “Where is your sire, Claude? Do you still see him from time to time?”
For the first time Derek caught Claude off-guard and he could see it in his face. Claude noticed this and quickly recovered, “My sire is dead, lad” he replied.
- “How did he die?” Derek asked
- “That is a very long story and one that I am not keen to tell right now – perhaps one day – but for now we must concentrate on your training – since you are only to give me 6 weeks we have much to accomplish” Claude said, “you must train until you can block your thoughts without thinking about it – without focusing on it. Think of it as a shield, one that you are always armed with. Kindred will come at you from every direction, at times when you may be unprepared – but MUST be able to keep your mind protected at all times. Our bloodline in particular is well known for its ability to enter the minds of others and manipulate thoughts. You must always be on alert.”
- “Alright, I get it” Derek said in a frustrated way, “Its getting easier you know,” he continued “I can sense you trying to come in to my head.” he said
- “That is not enough, Derek” Claude said, “Your mind must be like a fortress – whether you see me coming or not, the gates must always be closed.”
- “Ok well, ” Derek said, “I am not sure what else you want me to do – I am doing everything that I can – considering the fact that you have given me very little explanation as to how this works – I am kind of having to find it out on my own while you try to bully your way in to my head” Derek said in a frustrated tone.
-”Hmmm” Claude got up and walked towards the window, “Tomorrow, during the day, while you sleep, I will try to enter your thoughts. Perhaps this will help.” He said turning around to look at Derek with a very satisfied look on his face.
-”Oh that is just wonderful” Derek said in a resigned tone, “Now I have no break even during the day – just great…”
Claude’s smile faded and he looked at Derek with a look of concern, “Kindred will give you no breaks, my lad – none.” He said in a very somber tone.
They both got up and headed down to the “dungeon” as Derek liked to call it. Over the last few days, they had moved some items in there – a bed for Derek – some rugs, chairs, it looked very spartan. Although Claude was attempting to make it very comfortable for Derek, it still felt like a dug out hole in ground. However, Derek felt safe. There were no windows and once they closed the trap door that they had built, one could not even tell where the entrance to the dungeon was. Claude was sleeping in one of the other hollowed out rooms – but with no furnishings. Derek had meant to ask him why he did not want a bed, but decided against it. This was another one of those questions to which he did not want to know the answer.
They both moved down and retired for the night. Derek had brought some books with him and he was able to read until he fell asleep early in the morning. It wasn’t long after he was asleep that he felt Claude’s presence in his mind. He pushed him out, but Claude kept coming back at him again and again – all day. By the time sunset came once more, Derek felt like he had not rested at all.
Over the next week, they worked both during the night and day until finally, Derek learned to keep his mind shield up at all times no matter what. It had become second nature to him – he did not even have to think about. Just like breathing was – when he was alive that is. Claude was pleased and finally told him it was time to move on to something new. Derek was glad to do that.
Small Battles
Once his Derek finally learned to control his mental ability to keep people out of his head, Claude decided to begin a little bit of combat training. Derek was glad for the change – he was an excellent swordsman, and had always been proud of his skill. He looked forward to the training with anticipation and delight as he knew that for once, he would not feel grossly inferior to Claude. Yes, this would indeed be a nice change for him.
They brought most of the weapons they thought they would need out. Derek brought his sword as well as his father’s sword and all his training weapons as well, which included shields, blunt swords, maces, clubs, poles and more. They laid all of the weapons on the large table outside in the back of the castle.
- “There is no point in using blunted swords” Claude said, “so you might as well use your sword”
Derek, who was almost giddy at this point, reached for his sword with a smile on his face.
- “Shall we use any padding?” Derek asked Claude with a tone of delight in his voice.
Claude raised an eyebrow at him. Since he had met this boy, this was the first time that he had shown any emotion other than anger, frustration or outrage. Claude was begining to think the child had no other moods or feelings for that matter. He was glad to see him looking forward to something for a change.
As he picked up one of the swords, he felt a chill of caution runing down his spine. He was starting to like this boy – he was begining to grow strangly fond of him and this was never a good sign. He had promised himself that he would only be around long enough to teach the boy some basics. But now, he began to wonder how difficult it would be to leave the boy behind. He had been alone for so long, he had almost forgotten what it was like to be around others. Even worse, the more he was around this child, the more he thought of his own family – a memory he had thought was buried deep with no chance of recovery but which had proven to still be painfully lurking below the surface.
They began with basic sparring. Claude wanted to see if the boy had any skill and for a recent human, his skill was probably better than most. Claude was so relived to see the boy happy for once, that he almost did not want to bring his kindred powers to bear. Derek was dashing, dodging, thrusting and lunging so happily, that Claude almost forgot the purpose of this training. Almost.
- “Are you warmed up then” Claude asked Derek after about 15 minutes of light sparring.
- “Yes,” Derek said with a smile, “Although I am glad to see this is not all that you have – I would have been grossly dissappointed” he said with a smirk.
- “Very well then”, Claude replied.
And as Derek lunged forward, Claude dissappeared. He did not think it was possible for a man of that size to simply dissappear – but it happened. Derek heard noise behind him and turned around to see Claude standing there. As he lunged again, the man once again dissappeared. This went on about three to four more times until Derek lost his patience:
- “Enough!” he screamed, “What treachery is this?” he asked
Claude was once again standing in front of him, “training I thought?” he replied. Derek was visibly annoyed, his pride preventing him from asking Claude how it was possible that he was dissappearing into thin air.
- “Are you that afraid of my sword that you must dissapear from my sight?” Derek asked – the happiness and gaiety was now visibly gone from his voice.
Claude grinned – at least the child had guts he thought to himself. Too much pride, but definately guts.
- “If your sword is so mighty, it shouldn’t be a problem to pierce me then?” Claude replied in a playful tone.
Even more aggravated than before, Derek looked up at him, Claude could see the anger alrady welling up in his eyes, “very well, again then” he said to Claude. And once again, they began their dance, of Derek trying to hit Claude and Claude literally dissappearing. Derek screamed out in frustration.
- “THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!” he said to Claude
Claude stood in front of him once again, and replied “What is?” he asked. Derek looked up at him, Claude could see the frustration in the boy, although he would not utter the words, Claude could see the questions in his eyes – how is this possible? But Derek remained silent. Claude stopped smiling, for he was afraid that their training session would end in Derek loosing control again. So far their progress had been slow due to Derek’s temper. Claude was hoping to pick up the pace a little today for he felt unless they started to progress more quickly, Derek would not be ready by the agreed upon time.
- “I am afraid to hurt you,” Derek finally mumbled beneath his breath, “Perhaps we should use a blunted sword” he said.
Claude’s patience for the child’s ego and pride was running thin. He reached out for the blade of the sword that Derek held and pulled it to him, piercing his side with it. Derek looked in amazement. Claude raised his shirt, displaying the wound and there, before Derek’s very eyes, he saw the wound dissappear as if it had never been. “You cannot harm me,” Claude said, “Now, again.”
Derek was looking at Claude dumbfounded. “How is this possible?” he asked in a quiet and very serious voice, “How can this be?” He asked again. Claude knew the boy perhaps was not ready to face some of the new grimmer details of his new existance, but unfortunately, it was too late now – Claude had lost his temper and now he had seen.
“Sit down, boy” he said to Derek, and thew his sword on the ground. Derek did not move, he was staring at his sword, which was stained with Claude’s blood still and looking up at Claude’s torso where the sword had pierced him. Claude looked up at Derek from the ground, “Very well, stand then”
Claude took a deek breath, “As I have told you before, you have changed. You are no longer human. The laws the govern all humans do not apply to you any longer – the same that they do not apply to me. A mere blade to your torso cannot harm you,” Claude said, “well, it stings, but it is not as serious as it can be for a human as you have seen”.
- “But how?” Derek moved slowly and took a seat next to Claude. “How is it possible that your wound healed so fast?”
- “Blood” Claude said in a soft voice, “Blood. Blood is the life for you from now on, child. Blood will govern every aspect of your life, not only will it sustain you, it will grant you complete control over your body. As long as you have blood, you can do almost anything. All that you are – all the power that you have – comes from your blood – and this blood gets replenished every time you consume blood from others.” He continued, “when you are hurt, or tired or in need of more strength or speed, you can use your blood to grant you that what you need. Your blood can give you strength, power, speed and much more. Blood is why I moved so fast, and blood is why my wound healed in seconds. It all comes down to blood. As we train, you will hopefully learn to control the blood within you, and you too will be able to do these things.” he said.
- “So your powers are without limit?” Derek asked, “so long as you have blood – you can do anything?”
- “Yes and no” Claude replied, “there are limitations – but they are not those bound by physical boundries as they are for humans. Your limits are dictacted by your blood – the very thing that gives you power also limits it” he said.
- “I do not understand” Derek said, “You just said that blood was power basically, how can blood give and take away power?”
Claude sighed – he was hoping that these discussions would have taken place much later, when the boy was perhaps more advanced in his training and had accepted his situation with a little less anger. “In our race, your lineage, your power, your own blood is a trait that passes down from Sire to Childe,” Claude said, he could see that Derek was about to ask another question and he continued, “I already told you about Sires. A Childe, is someone like you – someone who has been turned into a Kindred by another Kindred. Your blood is the same as my blood, just as my blood was the same as the blood as the one who made me.” Claude explained, “however, with each new generation, the blood becomes less concentrated and a little bit of the power is lost. Therefore, my sire’s blood had greater capacity for power than my blood. Just as my blood has greater capacity for power than your blood. As you can imagine, the more kindred created the weaker the blood gets – every new generation of Kindred is always a little weaker than the generation before.” Claude said, “Therefore, in our world, in the world of Kindred, the older your blood is, the more potential for power you have. Since we live forever, your age is generally regarded as the age of your blood, not your physical age.”
Derek looked confused, “So who gave the first Kindred his power?” he asked, “and where is he today?”
- “There are many stories and legends about how we came to be. These are all just that – stories – I am not sure myself what the truth is.” Claude replied, “and as for the first of us, we do not know where he is – or even if he is still alive.”
- “But all power comes from him, right?” Derek asked, “So he is the most powerful of all Kindred since his blood is the oldest?”
- “That’s right” Claude said, “his potential for power could be limitless – we do not know. Every Kindred generation however is counted down from him – so the older a Kindred is – the closer his blood is to the original Kindred. Your power is in your blood, and you must guard that with your life. If another Kindred were to drain all of your blood, all of the power you have within you, would pass to this new Kindred. That is why old Kindred generally stay hidden – away from others who would plot against them just to take their blood and power.”
- “And how old are you then?” Derek asked Claude, “And how old am I?” he asked expetedly
- “Very old, boy”, Claude said, “very very old…”
Darkness Peers…
- “So what does that mean?” Derek asked, “Does it mean other kindred are going to come after me? And how old is old?”
- “Yes,” Claude replied, “Other kindred will try to come after you – this is why you must never tell them who your sire is – they must never know about me, Derek”, Claude said, “ever – for your safety and mine”.
- “So all this time – you have been hiding from them? Living alone?” Derek asked.
- “Yes, lad” Claude replied, “I have – and if you want to survive, you must do the same” he said.
- “No,” Derek said emphatically, “I will not. I will not live like a coward hiding in shadows and in fear. I do not fear death, Claude. At all, and living like this,” he said looking upon Claude with pity for the first time since he had met that man, “is not living.”
- “There are things far worse than death, child” Claude said, “but that is your choice, I can teach you and show you a path, it is your choice to follow it or not. I suppose some things you will have to learn on your own,” he said. Perhaps the child was right – this child had no idea what kindred were capable of. Unfortunately, Claude had a feeling he would find out. Claude could only protect him so much, he would have to experience Kindred society on his own. Perhaps it would be different for him than it was for Claude, but there was little hope of that.
Derek stormed off to his room after this talk and stomped down the stairs and sat on his bed. He looked around the room – it wasn’t a room, it was a hole in the ground. “So this is my life,” he whispered to himself, “this is what I have been reduced to.” he said. He felt different – as much as he tried to ignore it, he couldn’t. He wanted to be normal again, but deep down, he felt it. A darkness that wasn’t exactly good or evil, but it was there – waiting for him to lose control so it could take over. It almost felt like another person, a darker side to his soul just waiting to come out.
Derek got up and went up to a mirror they had moved down here from his room. This large full body mirror was laying against the wall instead of hanging on the wall like it had been. Derek looked in the mirror – he looked at himself. His bright blue eyes looking back at him. He didn’t feel old. He was only 17 – a man yes, but not old. Old was someone like his father, old meant wrinkles and white hair and wisdom. Old meant head of a family, with children looking up to you and a wife to look after the household. Old meant full of experience and tales. Derek had no wisdom, he had no family, he had no experience nor did he have any tales to tell. He felt robbed – his life, his adulthood stolen from him. He felt as if he went straight from his teenage years to old – he felt tired. He thought maybe that is what old felt like – tired and alone. If that was true, he was old.
He looked at himself again, looking for a change, something different in his face and in his eyes. He saw nothing. His hair was exactly the same as it was since that night he woke up. Long, black and straight, resting on his shoulders. His blue eyes held no secrets that he could see. He looked harder, closer, looking for that darkness he felt inside himself. His image flickered in the mirror.
Derek jumped back, caught completely off-guard – although he was looking for something different, it never occurred to him that he would see it. He looked at the image again, and it looked hazy, his form slowly dissappeared in the mirror, leaving a dark shadow in its place. Derek moved closer to the mirror, the shadow did not move. He saw no eyes, no face, no mouth – but somehow he knew it was looking back at him. He knew this was his dark soul looking back – he had wanted to much to talk to it – to see it, his wish had been granted.
- “Who are you?” he asked the image. Nothing…
- “I want you to leave me, go away” he said, and looked at it expetedly. Nothing…
He took a step closer, unafraid of it, he reached out and touched the mirror. It was still a mirror, the image seemed trapped inside.
- “Why won’t you say anything?” he said. Nothing…
- “Are you real?” he asked. Nothing…
He looked at it for a sign – any sign of an answer to his questions and he saw nothing. Other than knowing, in his soul that this thing was looking back at him, he had no other sign that it was alive. He began to get angry – this thing whatever it was, was mocking him. As his rage started to build, he felt (although he did not see) that the image was smiling at him, encouraging him to get angry. He tried hard to get control of himself – he knew now that it was there, waiting, waiting for him to lose control – waiting for him to give in to the anger, the thirst – anything that it could get to take over. Derek was scared.
- “It is real” Claude said from behind him. Derek had no idea he was standing there. Derek looked back at Claude and then looked at the image in the mirror again. It was gone – all he could see was his own reflection again.
- “What do you mean it is real? You saw it?” He asked Claude.
- “Everyone sees it differently.” Claude replied, “You saw the power inside of you, did you not?”
- “Power, I don’t know about a power, “Derek said, “I saw a dark shadow looking back at me waiting for me to lose control” he continued, “and you are telling me that thing is real?” he asked.
- “We each see the power inside us as something different. Some of us fear it, others embrace it.” Claude said, “You saw it as a shadow because you probably do not know yet if you are going to be afraid of it or not – to you it is an unknown” he said, “only you can decide what it is to become to you.”
Derek looked back at the mirror again, he tried hard to see the shadow again and saw nothing but his own reflection looking back at himself. If that was true, if that thing was him, then he would take charge of it.
- “I can control it?” He asked Claude
- “Oh yes,” Claude said, “you can control it” he smiled at Derek, “but the question is- can you control yourself?” He said.
Derek looked at Claude with a very resolute look in his eyes, ” I will do whatever it takes”, he said, “no matter what happens, I will control it – it will never control me” he said.
- “Well, Lad, ” Claude said, “that’s a start” he smiled. “Now get some rest, we will continue to tomorrow.” he turned around and started to walk out of the room.
- “Claude?” Derek asked. Claude stopped at the doorway and looked back at him, “there is no bed in your room – no furniture – where do you sleep? Or do you even sleep?” he asked Claude.
- “Aye,” Claude replied, ” I sleep.” He said, “the earth guards me” he said with a smile, “one day it will guard you too” he said and walked out.
As Derek undressed and got ready for bed, he contemplated what Claude had said, “the earth guards me?” he whispered to himself. He laid down on his bed and as hard as he tried to stay awake he could not. Sleep took him, quickly and deeply, and once again, he escaped to his daydreams of picnics with Ashley and sparring with Edward. Poor Edward…